Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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