I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
