I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
