I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
