Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
