I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
