If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
God, I missed his penis.
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