i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
