i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
