Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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