i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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