call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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