We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
