This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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