Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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