We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
