ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
