at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
