i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
