She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
