OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
