So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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