Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
