no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
