so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
