Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Floor bacon is actually really good
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
