C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
