I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We left the knife in your bed.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
