Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
