eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Two words: nipple clamps
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