My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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