How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She told me I should be a condom model.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
