i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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