Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
