What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
