My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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