why im i the only drunk person in the library?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
