I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
