For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
