How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
