i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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