just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
