Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
