watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
