shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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