BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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