All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
