It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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