No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
