so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
