I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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