you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I love you. Go after that dick
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
