first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
