I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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