Tell her she can't have a vagina
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
