Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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