so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
